Wednesday, April 29, 2020

COVID-19 Diary of an Author-Intuitive

By Cal Orey
Lockdown 2 in Fall
Dear Diary,

It's been 10 days since I've come here. I feel like I'm a character in "I Am Legend" and I want out of the film. Every time I sense it may be safe and we could be getting back to normal it only gets worse...
Sixty thousand deaths, one million infected in the U.S. We are losing the battle. Hope for a new antiviral drug but testing should take years, not months. A new vaccine by September but only if we had the luxury of time on our side. We do not. The nation and world are being tested--physically, mentally, financially...
China is out and about... but they, like us, are wary of the new normal. They, like us, know another draconian lockdown can happen in a heartbeat. I cannot believe how we got here. And I blame mankind. This virus is not just any virus. It is smart and was created to depopulate and make it as painful as possible.
An oasis for my summer
This morning when the sibling, my forager went to our friendly supermarket I got a phone call. "The toilet paper? Gouging. Same with paper towels. No dried fruit. Forget kale." I go online and am greeted with: "Out of Stock" at all websites. My heart races. I call the store manager and tell her she is gouging like they did in 1999. And I Googled how the store chain did this to HI after the hurricane. Humanity is lost.

Give Me Liberty
Jewish in New York to Vegas party-goers are rebelling. They want to live life like it was before the pandemic. Don't we all want to go back in time. The deal is, by loosening lockdown we will get a resurgence and end up like China. Strick lockdown two by fall. We're in a Catch-22. And I am angry.
Today, walking and driving the dog around town, I am seeing it. The beaches are getting more crowded, campers are setting up, and the store? Well, they took all the toilet paper. Gone. I do not like people right now. I am frustrated. I am angry. I am scared. 

Psychic Networks
Today, a regular caller rang me. I said, "You got laid off?" She paused and answered, "Yes. I'm shaking in my boots." I predicted it. I knew it was going to happen. Heart beating again. I talk her down and advise her to chill and do not sell her new home. Then, on FB a poster posted: Covid Statistic. Another one. And the call an hour later: "My bf is sick." He is in Michigan--a hot spot. And I am on overload.
I signed out then and now. Calls from the UK to the Northeast and West Coast. It's all the same. The deaths are spiking. Some callers are in denial and ask about money or love. We will all go back in our homes come fall. No swimming. No travel. Canada has not re-opened their borders. More Canadians are dying. No book signings at all now or later. Four hundred bookstores closed. And it's not over.

Defeat Depression
Making Zen Spots for Sanity
The gardening, walking my dog, cuddling my cat, bonding with my brother--help. But I need more. Last night I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned. I proofed my articles. Did they overlap? Yes? No? Our world is more unbalanced than ever before. We are fighting and not coming together. Politics before humanity. If there are aliens they know we don't know what we're doing. And being highly sensitive I feel the toxic energy from coast to coast--30,000 feet above and six feet under.
I want to run away. Brother talks of fleeing to Idaho. By fall all the borders may be shut. We could be under Martial Law. I asked him, "Why didn't you ever teach me how to shoot a gun?" I need to feel protected.

This summer I will be buying cedar trees to make a fortress from the invaders who will be infecting us and stealing our food at the stores.The MASH tents? The will finally be used. And me? Still healthy but I am not invincible. The virus, man-made, is smart and it is out smarting the world.
We are losing the battle...Forcing meat plants and wet markets to carry on? Opening schools and non-essential workplaces. Allowing hair salons, gyms, casinos, and hotels to re-open. I feel sick. I have lost 10 pounds. A perfect size 4. But I feel like I'm fading phase apathy. I don't care anymore. I feel more isolated than when I write a book. It's worse. I cannot escape. I feel trapped. No control. Too much uncertainty, like Anne Frank waiting for the enemy to knock on the door.  The political are fighting for freedom--but in reality are killing mankind.

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