COVID-19 Diary of an Author-Intuitive

Dear Diary,

I am alive and well as to be expected during our global pandemic--a meltdown on many levels. I am coming back to you (my Wilson like in "Castaway") because there is nowhere else to go where I feel safe. Last time it was obvious depression was rearing its ugly head. I snapped out of it, sort of. Bathing every day, brushing my teeth, eating right does seem to give a sense of normalcy. Flash back to Will Smith in "I Am Legend"--viewing his day to day existence was a bit like that and now I get it. Tomorrow I will start using the treadmill. Tonight I will build a fire.

When you're forced in isolation it's good to keep some sort of structure. He'd feed his dog Sam a healthy meal, eat his grub, watch the news reruns (from before the world ended as he knew it), exercise, and even go hunting in the city. But, but, but there's another problem. Focus. I am finding myself keeping busy but doing different things--not staying on track with one project.

Pandemic foreshadow? Dec. '19, isolated in Anchorage
 fog/icy roads and hurricane-force winds
kept me isolated in a hotel on the 17th floor

Last night I received my edits for #9 book--Herbs and Spices--Timeless Treasures.  That is a good thing. I did peek at it. My trip to Alaska and my dear friends' sailing around the world adventure were not cut. This makes me happy. 
But I set it aside to finish an assigned health article. Then, I put it away to clean my fish aquarium to make me and my fish happy. And I am thrilled to report Mr. Snail Jr. is alive! All my goldfish, and catfish are happy. They do not know that world is sick...

Day to Day Life

Despite of all the politics, people in denial, sick, dying, overwhelmed healthcare workers and people living in fear--life goes on. I've been brushing my Australian Shepherd's coat and his teeth, and cleaned the microwave. I am getting ideas of spring cleaning, gardening, sunshine and...BAM! I realize things in Coronavirusland are not getting better. I am just adapting to a nightmare I cannot control. In fact, last night I slept only to be awakened by my dog and cat--barks and cries to eat breakfast. They keep me going even though they probably sense I'm off.

It's strange. As an author and introvert--my life has often been one of isolation and that's okay. But when I got cabin fever I'd go swim, gamble, book a trip to Canada or do a book signing. Those days are over for now and nobody knows how much longer life will go on like it is. I did see June where we might get a feel for real life. But nobody knows for sure. 
Talk of quarantining New York and other Northeast states is happening. Our county now has nine COVID-19 confirmed cases. Both my publishers and we Californians are in hot zones. Political fights about ventilators that patients will likely need. There is a vast shortage. And Easter Sunday doesn't look like it will be a beautiful day of church gatherings. I see the big circles on the US map. We are near SF...and may become a hot zone as an escapists' tourism hub--and tourists keep coming up here to smell the fresh mountain air, visit the lake, take our food, eat and go after invading our town, somewhat like another strain of the C-virus.

Medical experts to fellow astrologers and history tell of a second wave of the virus will hit hard in fall...  Worse, medical experts talk of several more outbreaks.  Last night I watched Bill Gates who provided a sense of calm. He said if America hunkers down for another eight to 10 weeks we may not have to shutdown again--we will flatten the curve. 

But I am powerless. 

At times I feel like Anne Frank must have felt...cooped up, hiding, and waiting for the grim inevitable--but with a bit of hope and faith of getting our lives back to normal. We all have expiration dates but I'd rather go traveling or be blindsided quickly not grab a ticket and wait to be called out. "You're infected." If that happens I'd rather stay at home...be in my cozy cabin with my loved ones. I do not want to go to a containment camp and be with strangers or rely or be denied a ventilator. Maybe I should write a will. Or not.

One Day at a Time

For now, I'll start writing the article on seasonal allergies, and perhaps take a few calls from people around the world. Nowadays, 3 out of 5 share how they're coping with the virus in their world. And I am chill like a nurse on shift. It's not that I don't care. I do. But there is nothing I can do except read and dish answers for their immediate concerns about love, work, and money. I notice the calls are less than more from the UK a region with money problems before and now it's likely worsened.

I can't help be wonder. Was my adventure to Alaska--the solo trip that tanked with erratic weather, rough air on the flight, isolated in my hotel room to later experiencing my dog's home quarantine foreshadow and preparation of this Coronavirus event?

And so it goes. The sun did not shine today. That is normal for Lake Tahoe in the early spring. In a few weeks, more snow will melt, birds will fly around the deck and I will get feeders. A garden, warmer weather, and maybe by June we'll feel a since of hope until autumn when the monster may come back. Flight vouchers to Canada? The supervisor gave me another year to book a trip.  How would it be if fall never arrived? One day at a time. Be in the moment.  Hanuka Matata.