By Cal Orey
Our world is broken. I have gone through a mixed bag of emotions. Shock. Fear. Anger. And now depression. I have not showered. I have not eaten. I did finish an assigned article. Not surprised. I have worked under pressure: During Angora Fire, SF 7.1 Quake, Oakland Firestorm, 9-11... But this time around it is just too overwhelming.
Last night I called a city council woman. She told me stuff like the military was not coming to Lake Tahoe. Well, guess what. The National Guard is on its way to CA, NY, and WA. I guess my intuition is still intact. I do not want to read for people. Young girls call me, "When is Johnny calling?" to "Is it over?" I don't care. I don't understand how they can be so out of touch with our achy breaky globe. It's hurting.
I realize now how I took for granted the good things in life. Swimming at the resort pool, traveling to Canada, fresh food, writing books, and comfortable in the sierras. Now my world and the world has changed.
I want to run away. Funny. Last night my fave airline comped me a lot of vouchers. I can now go to Canada in the fall to see the northern lights and a moose. The thing is, their borders are closed. Washington is a hot zone and we soon will be. But on the upside the supervisor allowed an extra year for the vouchers to be used.
As an author-intuitive I read too much, think too much, feel too much. I, like the world, am down. On overload. TMI. I don't want to know anymore the case numbers of infected, the deaths. And now the military is bringing in 2000 beds. How many coffins. How many containment centers. I feel like this is a war.
We are losing our rights. The banks are now not allowing people to take out too much money. Food? I am now foraging online. The pantry is stocked but I sense the world will be out of food. Why else are all the staples "Out of Stock" or the prices are out of this world. We will be eating like Alaskans do in the winter. Is this foreshadow of "Soylent Green" based in 2022.
Getting My Groove Back
If I managed to write an article, I suppose I can shower, and go through the motions. But I am feeling down. Not me. I am strong. A fighter. Well, when Simon passed I did not do well for a week. He was my rock. My canine soul mate. I wish he was here. But his best friend Skyler is next to me. He is my protector. And Zen kitty is here, too.
I want to run away. Fight-or-flight response. Just leave everything and go. But what if I am infected? What if nobody will let me go to wherever. Trapped. Not in mood to be calm. Not in the mood to be helpful. I am here but not. The world is a dark place. We are all fighting, scrambling, and lost. We were blindsided and now we are lost. Today, I do not feel hopeful or see the light. I want to go to sleep and wake up to the life that once was. But that is a dream and we're living a nightmare and I had predicted in "The Truth About the Coronavirus." I am grieving for the world. It's like a kid's favorite toy is no longer working. And nobody can fix it.