By Cal Orey
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotions."
Yesterday I decided to go with the flow and let my romance life go to the dogs... I got engaged to my two Brittany spaniels (with French roots) Simon and Seth. I was at Sessions, the hair salon that caters to blushing brides (Lake Tahoe is the hot spot for getting hitched). I said to my stylist (as she was putting reddish highlights into my blonde hair to match my two four-legged orange and white boys) that I felt left out because I didn't walk down an aisle, wear a winning dress, or exchange vows. I added, "I'm in love with Seth and Simon, my two fun-loving, loyal dogs." And then, that is the exact moment when I decided I was going to get engaged and marry my dog duo... Back at home, I googled "Woman Marries Dog" and it seems it has only been done in other countries--not in America--so I may be the first dog lady to take the big leap. I got busy and rang up two ministers. I'm waiting to find out which one will snag the offbeat event with two bird dogs and their loving, idealistic Catholic mistress. (I don't believe a priest will provide this service.) Meanwhile, I'm shopping online for Brittany rings and/or bracelets and special collars (for the boys)--something budget-smart, simple and sophisticated to finalize our engagement. And a must-have is a dog-loving photographer to shoot photos to cherish. (And it gets more doggone crazy. I'm actually humming to the lyrics of the oldie but goodies--"Going to the Chapel of Love" and "Puppy Love.")
The wedding will be a late autumn event. It will be at a Dogs Allowed beach on the Nevada side or amid towering pine trees and golden aspens at my home. It's undecided. A minister (I pray) will perform the "Commitment Ceremony" service for two dogs and their human mistress. I prefer this occassion to be a small Mediterrnean-style event. The boys, Simon, 6, and Seth, 3, will be clad in black turtleneck sweaters with white bow ties. I will wear a long off white sweater dress with sunflowers in my hair. The wedding cake (made special in Reno) will include vinegar, olive oil, and carob (dogs cannot eat chocolate)--to follow the advice in my Healing Powers books series. And, the honeymoon? Most likely, it will be an unforgettable night with dog movies, room service, and lots of cuddles and doggie kisses. I hope we can enjoy this time together at a Lake Tahoe European-style dog-friendly hotel.
So, as I plan for all the dog-human wedding arrangements I'm going to celebrate tonight and prepare a Mediterranean dish that I can share with my canines.
For the dogs, I'm whipping up tasty appetizers--dog biscuits Simon and Seth will roll over for! Cheese Dog Biscuits: The ingredients include oat flour, cheddar cheese, water, and olive oil. The recipe is found on page 156 in my book The Healing Powers of Olive Oil (published by Kensington). And, because my pooches are bird chasers I'm going to cook up an organic turkey--a gift. It will not be stuffed, however, I will baste it with all-natural olive oil and honey--two ingredients used in doggie treats. (The roasted potatoes and walnut garnish are for moi--not for my "fiance(s)".) It will be the Wedding engagement dinner fit for two dogs and their devoted guardian, soon to be "wife." We all three will be wagging our tails. This is going to be the beginning of an unforgettable wedding that I never got and always dreamed of getting.
One More Thing: If you're wondering about this animal-human marriage thing, stop wondering. Wikipedia dishes up a dog's tail list of who and where it's been done. (BTW: My roots are Osage Indian...is it possible that's where this spiritual desire is rooted from or maybe I just am a fool in love.)